Sometimes Facebook is the dickest thing ever. Like today, when, inexplicably, Facebook decided to post a bunch of pictures of a certain girl in my newsfeed. I don't know why, considering we are not friends on the Facebooks. But there is a history between myself and this particular girl, and one I enjoyed up to a point and then did not enjoy.
And she looked as beautiful as ever. So I poured myself a man's man's rye. Or 5.
Her last name is still the same, for what that's worth. It seems both good and bad. Bad, because I think she would make an awesome mom and I know that that was one of the things she wanted out of life and I assume she has not reached that point in life yet.
But there is also a piece of my heart (a large piece, like pretty much all of it) that, no doubt hopelessly, one day hopes she, for whatever reason, picks up the phone and gives me a call. So I guess there's that. I still miss her. We were pretty good friends up to the end and if things didn't happen as they did, we'd probably still be friends on some level. Because I cared about her. A lot. Still do. Which is a big reason why I've been a disagreeable sort the last few years. It sucks having nothing to do with her life anymore.
But, I guess it is what it is. I wish there was something/anything I could do to change things but I don't think there is.