I started this blog awhile ago because I thought I had stuff to say. I do....but whenever I sit down to write something, I don't really know how to say it. Or I get distracted by something else. Mostly, I think, this is due to a complete lack of focus. This has become a recurring issue for me in recent years.
I used to have a blog that had a fair amount of following. I talked about God and shit. I've since burned that blog to the ground since I don't believe in God and even if he did exist, I'd think he's an asshole. But back then, even if I had nothing to say, I'd find a way to say something. Now, however, even if I feel like I have something to say, I can't say it.
I know where my lack of focus comes from....the events that caused me to burn my old blog down to the ground in a blaze of sacrilegious glory also ended up changing me in fundamental ways. The reason I can't express myself like I once did is because while I may feel like I have something to say, deep down I really don't give a shit. That's a common theme with me these days....there tends to be very few things I actually give a shit about. I've basically learned to just numb myself with sports, music, beer and jack daniels. I'm among the least interesting men in the world.
The other problem is the shit I actually could talk about....the shit that is always at the forefront of my mind....I simply cannot talk about. I'd rather listen to Nickelback whilst punching myself repeatedly in the dick then talk about that shit.
So, I guess if I have one thing to say, it would be this: You don't listen to enough Pavement. My lack of proper focus prevents me from describing why Pavement is the greatest band to have ever existed, so I suggest just listening to them.