Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Updated Ranked List of Boycotts

1.) Vancouver/Greater Vancouver Area - Obvious reasons.

2.) Wal-Mart - A symbol of why the American economy took a giant shit.  A massive corporation with huge market share starts essentially naming the price they're going to pay to suppliers.  These prices, naturally, are quite low.  In order to meet this price-point (which the supplier must do to stay in business based on Wal-Mart's massive market share) the supplier begins outsourcing their manufacturing to foreign countries, killing off thousands of domestic jobs.  These lower priced goods continue to drive up Wal-Mart's market share, putting mom & pop stores (that sell a VARIETY of QUALITY goods) out of business, killing off even more jobs.  Wal-Mart then proceeds to fuck its own employees in the ass every step of the way.

3.) Quizno's - Even if we ignore the fact that they continued charging the same price while significantly reducing the quality of their ingredients, Quizno's has a serious problem holding up their end of a bargain.  After purchasing a Show & Save book as part of a high school fundraiser, the card that allowed me to get 10% off ALL purchases at Quizno's suddenly did not apply to special promotions.  Then suddenly the "Meal Deal" (you know...where you pay an extra $2.50 for a watered down coke and one cookie) was a "special promotion."  Then suddenly every Quizno's in the city was no longer a participating location.  So they reneged on their deal with a high school fundraiser and got free marketing in the process.  Fuckers.

4.) Big Bang Theory - Seriously...honest to god....this show is not even slightly nor remotely funny.  It doesn't even warrant a chuckle.  It's a pathetic raping of played out and boring stereotypes.  I wish people would quick fucking telling me I have to start watching this show.  I'm too busy watching shows that don't fucking suck.  If you want to watch something funny, try It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

5.) Shaw Cable - "Hello...I signed up for Shaw a couple weeks ago and talked to the guy on the phone and he said that when I get my HDTV they'll switch me over to the HD package free of cost and hook me up with the 6 month promotional rate."  "Well, I'm sorry sir, but that rate is only for new customers and you're not a new customer."  "This was two weeks ago...I just hadn't picked up my TV when I wanted to get internet hooked up."  "Yeah...but you're not a new customer."  "Well fuck it....disconnect my service...I'm going with MTS."

A few days later....

"Hi sir, I understand you're not happy with your service.  Is there anything we can do to make things better?"  "Yeah, I signed up like two weeks ago, got quoted on the cost of HDTV for 6 months and then when I went to get it hooked up it was three times as much money as I was quoted."  "Well, sir, that rate is only for new customers."  "Yeah...I AM new.  I've been with Shaw for two weeks."  "Well, is there anything else we can do?"  " can come pick up your fucking shit because MTS is coming tomorrow and I'm never getting cable through your shit company ever again."

6.) CIBC - "Hello...I'd like to buy a house or condo and since I've banked here since I had money I was wondering if you could inform me on what you offer in terms of mortgages, rates, etc."  "Okay sir...let me pull up your account info....oh...I see you don't have a CIBC Dividends Credit Card....we should really get you signed up for one."  "Sure...whatever...I'll do it later...I'd like to talk about a mortgage..." "But sir, there are all sorts of wonderful advantages to a CIBC Dividends get money back and..." "...and I would really like to talk about mortgages, which is why I'm hear."  "Well...I'll print off a Dividends application form and we'll get you filled out and...."

A few days later....

"Hi, Steinbach Credit Union?  Yes, I was wondering what I need to do to switch banks.....oh....and I'm going to buy a house so I'll need a mortgage, too."

7.) Flying Pizza in St. James - You know a pizza is going to taste REALLY bad when you go pick it up and you can't wait to get home and out of the car because the smell of the pizza is so terrible.  The taste, surprisingly enough, was much like the smell.  Not sure why I expected differently.  This is not hyperbole:  it is the absolute worst piece I've ever tasted.  In fact, it blows my mind that someone could have made so terrible.  It's just cheese, bacon, tomato sauce, pepperoni and crust... I guess you can fuck up crust, but that wasn't even the problem.  The whole entire thing tasted like unwashed ass.

8.) Dexter - No real reason, other than the first 5 people that told me to watch it were super lame and uncool and I didn't want to watch it out of principle of that.  Who might be good.  But I'll never watch it because of my preconceived notions.

9.) Earl's - Shitty food.  Priced too high.

10.) Petro Canada - I don't know if they still do it, but you used to have to have a Petro Card or whatever it was called in order to pay the same price that everyone else paid at Esso, Shell, etc.  Maybe they don't do this anymore but I can't be bothered to find out.

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